Bringing Back a Lost Love: How Do You Get Your Ex Back?

Love is a vast realm, made of trust, respect, balance, sharing and compromise. But when nothing works anymore, the croupier’s call of “no more bets” doesn’t necessarily mean that luck will sort things out. So when the breakup becomes real, we tend to want revenge, or to want to control things and rewrite our destiny.

It’s not for us to judge people who act this way. Nor is it for us to lecture them. We are all grown-ups and must take responsibility. However, we can explain the objective reasons and the risks involved in turning to a sorcerer or a spell caster, or in performing a magic ritual yourself, to bring back the person you still love.

What am I exposing myself to by calling on magical forces? What am I setting in motion? Isn’t it more “prudent” to ask a psychic or a medium whether your ex will come back?
The answer is yes: it’s far more prudent and, above all, less risky for your energy and your wallet. And for that, we have experts who offer psychic readings by webcam, as well as by phone and chat. Under no circumstances will the platform’s experts perform magic rituals or any other kind of spell work!

Let’s look together at the risks that can arise from performing a ritual to bring back a lost love.

Calling on “outside” malevolent forces

So I choose either a spell caster who promises me the return of my loved one within 15 days (or even sooner), or I perform the ritual myself, but either way, the forces invoked will have the same impact.

I’m exposing myself to several things. First, I’m making a purely selfish choice (though one we think of as a lifeline at the time) and I’m depriving the other person of their freedom. Worse, I’m even going against their free will. Because I start from the assumption that by bringing back my sweetheart, I’ll be happier. But what if it were the other way around? If you were the one leaving, would you have liked to be held back against your will? After a while, looking your partner straight in the eye, would you have kept standing by what you did?

Bringing back a lost love means forcing the other person to stay with you. Even if they no longer have feelings for you… Loving someone also means letting that person go if their happiness lies elsewhere. You can love without making the other person suffer, without smothering them. Loving someone means wanting their happiness before your own, even if it goes against you. Right?

Backlash, the consequence of magic

By using magic, I expose myself to backlash. To what? To backlash, I said… By turning to magic, you’re betting that by calling on energies, you’ll be happy again.

The spell caster and client duo

Every problem has its entity. For example, in the case of a love ritual, you can ask for the intervention of the goddess of love (Aphrodite, Venus…). If you do it alone, you alone are exposed to the backlash. If you call on a third party, there will be two of you in the dock. At a pinch, the apprentice magician will be paid for the work and, knowing the practice, the codes and the rules, will generally have less trouble managing the energies invoked. But if you’re alone and, worse, know nothing about it, how can you manage energies you don’t even know?

The financial costs

You’ll also notice that there are prices of every kind for such a “spell”. A higher price than the “competition” doesn’t mean it will be any more effective…

Every intervention has a cost. You’re going to run up debts… And every bit of energy spent will be billed to you twice over. That bill will come back to bite you.

Consequences of a magic ritual

What kind of consequence, for example? It’s simple. An untrained person won’t know how to free themselves from the various consequences of using these forces, which is what I was saying above. It’s as if tomorrow I dropped you in North Korea: if you’re not Korean, it’s impossible for you to communicate or understand anything… Magic is a language with codes to respect. If you call on magic, you’re using codes. If you’re not initiated, you’ll end up calling on energies you don’t know from Adam. That’s where the problems begin. By using such practices and calling on unknown divine forces, the price is even steeper. That’s when the problems arise.

Is bringing back your loved one really worth the risk of watching your vitality fade, losing your job, a run of bad luck, and so on? There are always unfortunate consequences to such acts. You don’t call on outside invisible forces without paying the bill, starting with the spell caster, the sorcerer, in short, the middleman…

You don’t call on invisible forces without knowing what you’re exposing yourself to, without knowing the “instructions”. Go in blind, and you may get your sight back in a way that burns your retinas… Worse, you won’t be able to play the “I’m innocent and I didn’t know what I was getting into” card. By practicing, it’s as if you were signing a moral contract. Exchanging money in a ritual means accepting the fine print. Generally, “middlemen” explain the possible consequences to you, as when you’re prescribed pills… People very rarely read the leaflet in the box to learn about the likely side effects, which in no way stops them from taking their pills, relying solely on the word of the wise, of the physician… Careful, don’t put words in my mouth: I’m in no way comparing the work of physicians, who hold recognized qualifications and a degree, with spell casters, miracle workers and the like… So, as I was saying, by taking my pills, I accept the potential side effects. So with magic, by agreeing to perform a ritual yourself or by asking someone else to do it, you’re saying you’re ready to accept the consequences. All the consequences.

Rewriting your Destiny

By refusing the breakup, you decide to rewrite your Destiny. So you put yourself in the position of rewriting your own story. You’re no longer a mere fallible human: you go beyond your original role. You pick up your eraser and decide to erase everything that upsets you.

What if, quite simply, “what was meant to happen happened”? Maybe someone else is waiting for you elsewhere. Maybe you’ll be happier with them… Don’t they say that all things come to an end? If there is an end, it inevitably means that a renewal will follow. Summer follows spring.

Depending on magic, or magic as an exchange of services?

If I start calling on magic to win back my loved one, why not also use magic to earn more money? Who doesn’t dream of that? In that case, I could even decide, why not, to be popular on social media, and so on…

Allow me this shortcut between magic and cosmetic surgery, which ultimately also rests on an exchange of services, except that here the practitioner is qualified! With cosmetic surgery, I can decide to have everything redone (or one part of my body) because what nature gave me doesn’t suit me, but, as with magic, I have to pay out of my own pocket. In both cases, I’m responsible for my actions, which will have repercussions. The only difference is that cosmetic surgery can help erase a complex. So can magic. It can make me more beautiful, more attractive, more popular… But if I decide to have one part of my body redone, nothing guarantees that I won’t develop a complex somewhere else, or I may even think the operation will fix my lack of confidence. It’s the same with magic. I can turn to it, but it won’t save me from my complexes. I may even believe that Destiny will help me out, and I become a spectator of my own life. A magic ritual for every problem?

To continue our comparison, keep in mind that there are limits, in cosmetic surgery just as in magic.

Refusing reality

By refusing the breakup and wanting to call on outside forces, you’re refusing a fact. You’re burying your head in the sand. You can’t accept frustration, reality. Otherwise, the solution would be to erase reality and tip over into madness, but I advise you to hold on to your sanity…

So, as I was saying, by refusing the breakup, you put yourself in a difficult position, all alone, and you refuse to see reality as it is. To continue our parallel with cosmetic surgery, it’s as if you wanted to be five foot nine to compete with Heidi Klum when you’re four foot eleven with your arms raised. You know reality won’t allow it, but you persist. What’s the point? Short of breaking your bones to eke out an inch or two, you’ll never gain eight inches. So after a breakup, why refuse reality instead of admitting it’s Game Over? Why nurse anger and resentment toward a person who has finally admitted they couldn’t go on like this? They could have stayed with you, but that would have meant living a lie… Sometimes it’s better to separate when love is gone, so as not to give the other person false hope, so you no longer have to put up with each other, so you’re no longer just roommates.

Despite these first consequences I’ve laid out, you decide to go ahead anyway. After all, some people only understand that fire burns once they put their hand on the stovetop…

I’ll still explain the “codes” of magic to you, just so you know how this world works.

Casting a love spell to get your ex back

Before talking about rituals, we have to talk about magic. There are different schools. One says there is white magic and black magic, while the other speaks only of magic, without color. I tend to think that magic has no color. So even if you call on a deity of love, you won’t be doing pink magic. In my view, fuchsia, blue, rainbow, neon or off-white magic doesn’t exist. Whatever color you want to give it. What matters is your intention, the divine figure you invoke… Intention has no color.

If, despite all this, you sincerely believe that magic is the only answer, then be careful. You’ll find loads of rituals online by typing into your favorite search engine. Just type “how to do a spell to get your ex back” and you’ll see a mind-boggling list of sites. There you’ll find the list of ingredients you need for your ritual, also linked to the position of the Moon. Clearly, you won’t find all the ingredients at your local Walmart, but online you can stock up in dedicated stores. Just keep an eye on the price and, if needed, the return policy. Shop around and check that the products are of good quality. Don’t hesitate to read the reviews of specialized shops to get an idea of how reliable the site is.

All that will be left is to perform your ritual and see whether the results show up. But will it really make you happier in the end? Aren’t you dependent on your partner? Can’t you find other concrete, real alternatives to get your ex back?

And what if, instead, we looked at the heart of the problem to find solutions that are more concrete, less dangerous and better for you in every way?

Advice to understand why he left me or why she walked out

For someone who has been left, two paths open up: one that refuses this fact, and the other that simply accepts it. It isn’t necessarily about resigning yourself, giving up or throwing in the towel. It’s simply about accepting this state of affairs, or even understanding it. A romantic relationship is a dance for two… In many cases, the breakup signals that one of the two partners (or even both) can no longer stand the other and that it’s time to put some distance between them. The breakup then becomes temporary or permanent. But either way, it inevitably gives us food for thought. So how do you accept it? By trying to question yourself, to understand, to draw conclusions and to bounce back toward something better, taking your time.

Pressing pause

Take time to think. There’s no rush. As they say, if you make a decision too hastily, you may regret it. It’s true that sometimes, in a state of utter distress, we’d be ready to accept anything from anyone. Worse, we’d even be ready to go back on our principles, tempted to dive into magic thinking it’s the only way out. It’s misleading. Not least because charlatans find it much easier to take advantage of people in distress, who are ready to swallow anything and pay astronomical sums… It’s sad to say, but some people don’t hesitate to drain your money even when you’re in a state of distress and fragility. It doesn’t trouble them in the slightest, metaphysically speaking.

So instead of rushing in headfirst, take time to think things through. Don’t buy a service right away, because there’s no “cooling-off period” here. The spell caster can’t perform a ritual to bring back your lost love and then cancel it 7 days later. What’s done is done.

Stepping back

Some mediums will advise you, for example, not to get a reading if you can’t step back far enough. Indeed, suppose your ex doesn’t come back: what might you do? No medium can guarantee 100% results, just as no spell caster can guarantee the return of a lost love. As soon as a third person is involved, it’s hard to make predictions. But suppose you’re told you’ll get back together. Won’t you count the days? Won’t you rush things, so sure that the divinatory message will come true? After all, the medium told you so… It’s by thinking you’re sure to win that you really run the risk of being wrong. Overconfidence is never a good thing.

Personally, whenever I read for someone, I always encourage the person in front of me to keep the right distance and to consider that our future is never set in stone. Everything can change. A divinatory message can change if you change your behavior. Let’s say I ask a card reading whether my ex will come back, and the message is pessimistic: I can instead decide to change my behavior by contacting him, by starting a frank and calm conversation, rather than hiding away in my corner. Are you following me?

Seeing a professional

When, however, all hope is lost, and even if it’s hard for you, you need to grieve, or to call on professionals for help. It’s always wiser to turn to a couples counselor when the threat of a breakup looms, or to a counselor to try to understand what’s going on.

For example, some people who have been left become obsessed and may even harass or stalk their ex. They may bombard them with texts, call day and night, show up at their ex’s home or workplace, make their life impossible. Once again, let’s not judge. Abandoned by your life partner, you can snap and slide into obsession. In these cases, you need to be careful, because even if your ex loved you, they too may be irritated by the harassment and go file a complaint with the police… And then legal trouble may follow. At that point, no spell caster or psychic can do anything to put you above the law and protect you from legal action against you!

When a breakup turns out for the best

Fortunately, all is not lost. Because sometimes a breakup turns out for the best. At that point, yes, it’s possible to get your ex back. Taking some distance is always important, to take stock of your life, your needs, your expectations… When life sometimes seems to be going too fast, or when the other person’s little quirks that made you fall for them at first sight become what irritates you most, splitting up to come back together better becomes necessary, sometimes even more than vital! You then learn to rediscover each other, to woo each other again, to find those butterflies in your stomach again and the sparkle in your eyes at the mere mention of their name.

Everyday life, routine, socks lying around, but also children are real passion killers. You start loving your life partner less, paying less attention to them, giving gifts less often (or even only on big occasions, and even then!), farting in bed, burping at the table, being less affectionate, or even no longer having sex. Some signs of a couple wearing thin are unmistakable. You then become more tempted by a colleague, a business partner, your child’s sports coach, the neighbor across the hall, and so on. You start letting your eyes wander, taking off your wedding ring, coming home later, getting texts…

The slippery slope begins if nothing is done to stop it, if all the warning signals you’ve sent go nowhere and fizzle out like a damp firecracker. Let’s be clear: we’re all living at a time when modern life has its downsides. Cheating on your partner has never been easier. In one click, you can find a friend with benefits, a lover for a day. Dating sites for married or committed people are popping up everywhere. Even subway stations are hit again and again by their ads. You’ll notice, by the way, that the subway is the ideal place to target this audience: commute, work, sleep, sound familiar? Advertisers certainly got the message.

A new idea of the couple?

Couples married for decades are slowly dwindling, on their way to becoming curiosities displayed in museums. Apparently, “polyamory” is also spreading among young people who can’t be bothered to swear fidelity and lie to their partner by pretending to be away on a team-building weekend. So are we heading toward a change in the very notion of the couple? An end to cheating? To couples for life? Short-term love contracts are multiplying. In these cases, it’s hard to invest in a relationship where, at the slightest argument or the slightest temptation, the couple falls apart… This is probably a new vision of the modern era. One where, as soon as someone becomes a burden, you throw them away like a used tissue. But then, what emotional damage for the person who ends up wronged, abandoned on the side of the highway… But then, don’t they say a couple grows stronger through hardship? Even if your partner doesn’t pick up their socks and is perpetually late, in the end, they’re always there for you when you need them. Hardships are much easier to face as a pair.

A breakup always means something in the life of a couple. It allows the other person to ask questions. What triggered the breakup? Have I changed? Over time, has the couple worn thin without my doing anything to fight it? What does my ex blame me for? Why did he break up with me? All these questions are essential to determine whether you can pick up the pieces or whether, on the contrary, it’s impossible to repair because the pieces are too small.

How do I get my ex back? Because in the end, fortunately, a breakup can turn out for the best and allow the couple to rebuild differently. Because missing each other has done its work. Very often, it’s the feeling of missing someone that makes us understand the place the other person has in our life. We don’t necessarily think about it day to day, because we’re caught up in the whirlwind of working life…

If you think back to the early days of your relationship, what happens? Do emotions come up? What happens deep inside you? If you tell the story of your first kiss the way you’d read out a shopping list, there’s cause for alarm… No couple is dead, except when one of the two declares it and has truly had enough.

So don’t hesitate to turn to a couples counselor or another trained professional who listens. Alone, or together. But don’t let the situation fester. The future of your life is at stake. Don’t see your couple as a drifting buoy. If one of the two partners starts moving, the other very often ends up following. But at their own pace…

Likely causes of a breakup: everyday life

Bogged down in everyday life, I start taking less care of myself. I end up in sweatpants, I stop shaving my legs because I’ll be wearing pants anyway and it’s winter. I stop wearing makeup because I don’t have time anymore. I stop working out because my days are too packed. In short, I end up sprawled on the couch eating popcorn and pizza to save time. I no longer close the door when I wash, and my guy comes and brushes his teeth right next to me… I put my naked body on display. Okay, I’m exaggerating, but you get my point. So, yes, you can throw every argument in the world at me: “uh… with 3 kids to manage, a job with responsibilities, homework in the evening, she can’t seriously think I’m going to the waxing salon on Saturday morning to beat the rush?” or “honestly, she’s making way too much of the 20-year-old who still has a bombshell body because gravity hasn’t kicked in yet…”. Yes, yes, I understand all that. But I’m simply saying that every one of these arguments has a counterargument. You can tell me my counterarguments carry no weight. Or you can try to question yourself, even just a little, even if it bruises your ego…

Every couples counselor will tell you: for a couple to last over time, you need squabbles, but also upkeep. For that, you need good soil, water, the right exposure and upkeep. Who said a couple is a given? Yes, there’s everyday life, the kids, monotony and those winter months when by 5 p.m. you feel like you’re at the back of a prehistoric cave, ready to watch Survivor with your flaming stick to brighten things up as you come out of the subway. What’s so “sexy” about coming home to your old man in slippers, waiting for you with his hand down his boxers, watching the latest Yankees vs. Red Sox game, when the dirty dishes could have been washed before you got home?

Haven’t you wanted to see the sparks in your partner’s eyes again? Your husband may often take you completely for granted. So don’t hesitate to remind him that you’re not his property…

So take advantage of the sales (or not) and head to a nice lingerie boutique (no need to go to a luxury store, okay?). A pretty push-up bra, a bright red color, a pretty lace thong. And there you go… And why not send your husband a sext? “Put the kids to bed early and you and I will play a new game!”. See the idea? You can do what it takes, using lots of ideas and above all your natural charm, to rekindle the magic.

Very often, you’ll see that when one of the two partners makes a move to try to restart the “engine”, the other follows. Not right away, but he moves. If, on the other hand, he’s as lively as a frozen fish, you’ll really have to jolt him back to life…

Likely causes of a breakup: housework and the in-laws… Or the art of cleaning house with the in-laws

If you have no problem sharing household chores and no in-law issues, skip straight to the next chapter. You’ll save time!

Housework: one of the top sources of conflict in a couple

One of the big differences between men and women remains that we don’t handle household chores the same way. We women generally want things done right away. Men, on the other hand, take it easy: “but there’s no rush!”… I’m simplifying. Sometimes it can be the complete opposite! But by being in a couple, you commit to respecting the other person’s pace, and opposites attract. So when one is messy, the other likes order. If that’s the case, take the opportunity for one person’s strengths to offset the other’s weaknesses. Example: Jean-Etienne is just a total slob, and Sophie keeps her home like a museum. So Sophie can use that strength, and Jean-Etienne will build on another of his qualities. As it happens, he’s brilliant at anything to do with meals. Bingo! Jean-Etienne will be at the stove while Sophie does the cleaning. And why not Jean-Etienne naked under his apron while Sophie cleans the place in her underwear? These two worlds can absolutely meet, as long as you want them to!

Of course, to make an effort, Jean-Etienne could still do the cleaning once in a while (up to you to negotiate how often) and Sophie will take her turn at the stove too. I can already hear potential feminists crying foul because I’m saying the woman cleans the cave while the man goes hunting. But honestly, let’s open our minds. I don’t know how your couple works, so I’m using the first couple model that comes to mind: the prehistoric couple… which, after all, sometimes turns up in the modern era!

Coaching for an overbearing mother-in-law

Okay, now let’s talk about the famous in-laws. Not everyone is lucky enough to have my mom as a mother-in-law… How can I describe my mom? Because in the end, I have no choice but to talk about her, my role model, my goddess… My mom is an ode to Love. She doesn’t judge, she’s completely open-minded, she accepts everyone as long as nobody comes over to give her grief at her place, she respects your point of view without trying to win you over with politicians’ sound bites, she doesn’t give you a sales pitch, and she’s there in person when you need her. Sometimes without saying a word, just to say “I’m here”. She smiles at you or looks at you and the world stops for a moment. I’ve never known a more reassuring presence. Anyway…

My mother always told us, her biological and adopted children, that she would never take sides with any of her children, that she doesn’t want to meddle in our love lives, and that she doesn’t want to barge in every Sunday morning at 10 a.m. because she just happened to be shopping at the Aldi near your place when there’s one right downstairs from hers. She always waits to be invited. She never calls at 10 p.m. (except in an emergency). She never scolds her grandchildren. She doesn’t interfere in how her grandchildren are raised, even when she disagrees. She doesn’t grumble because it’s 7:26 p.m. and time to eat. She even eats my burnt omelet with a “the burnt bits add a little extra flavor!”. A mother, a mother-in-law should ALWAYS follow my mother’s example. A little more and I’d have made her a trainer, teaching the art of being a good mother-in-law, but she’s too shy and humble. To her, all this is normal.

But you probably aren’t lucky enough to have a mother-in-law like my mom. So you may find yourself dealing with an overbearing mother-in-law. Even worse if sonny boy hasn’t cut the apron strings. Then you’ll need to arm yourself with the mental strength of a Buddhist monk.

Your No. 1 rival: your mother-in-law

Communicate with the mama’s boy. But never make your mother-in-law a rival. If the mama’s boy has to choose, you can imagine who he’ll pick. However much of a bombshell you are, however wealthy… That leaves you with three options: make your mother-in-law your new best friend (it happens, you know, a motherly love story between a mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law), accept and tolerate everything… or help your partner cut the apron strings, but then you risk incurring the wrath of your mother-in-law, who is probably not ready to put distance between herself and her son, maybe even her only son, or worse still, the youngest of the siblings! It remains to be seen where your limits are and how far you’re prepared to go. But one piece of advice, if I may: in-laws are often a source of squabbles. As much as the subject of raising children… So, to each their own territory: good fences make good neighbors.

You can keep your cool when the in-laws arrive by putting things in perspective and telling yourself that, in the end, what’s one afternoon in a lifetime? Never forget that we always tend to picture the same scenario, with an annoying mother-in-law or father-in-law, even at 90. But with time, people change, and with time, life milestones go by: retirement in particular, and the need to find new ways to spend one’s time. And often, in these cases, things sort themselves out and you can benefit from it. Even so, it’s essential to always protect yourself and to express your discomfort. You don’t have to worship your mother-in-law. But very often, in real life (so not on Little House on the Prairie), mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can’t stand each other, for the simple reason that they love the same man. A conscious or unconscious rivalry then sets in.

If, on the other hand, your partner knows his family is toxic, he will generally, all on his own, like a big boy, do what’s needed to protect himself and to protect you in return.

Likely causes of a breakup: infidelity

When one of the reasons for the breakup is infidelity, that really gives you pause. Because then, a line has been crossed. But how do you get over infidelity? It’s possible, even if your ego inevitably takes a hit.

Understanding why he cheated on me

It all depends on whether the infidelity is known or not. Don’t they say you’re only a cuckold once you know it? If the infidelity is suspected, it’s up to you to decide whether you want to be sure or stay in doubt. But when you really look, you always end up finding something. One way or another. Going through your husband’s phone bills, installing spyware on his phone, hiring a private detective, hiring “temptresses”: you’ll always find a multitude of options to find out for sure. However, forget the “text CHEATER to find out if you’re being cheated on” ads. Don’t try it, I don’t even know where that number leads. And I’m sparing you the version with the spelling mistakes…

But was your partner in love with their lover? If there are (or were) feelings, it’s hard to get over (but not impossible). Could your boyfriend, husband or fiancé (this works for women too) have been setting up secret dates with his lover (that works both ways too!) to do all sorts of naughty things you no longer did together? Or that you simply don’t do (softer or kinkier practices, for example)?

So you need to understand where this infidelity comes from. A guy may often have a one-night stand or a longer affair to reassure himself about his pulling power, to have a more fulfilled (frequency, practices…) and more fulfilling sex life… He can do it with or without feelings. A man or a woman can cheat on their partner and love them too. Even if it seems completely contradictory. Even if he took his vows at city hall. A man or a woman can tell the truth, the whole truth, to their lover, tell them they’re in a relationship and will never leave their husband or wife, that it’s only about sex and nothing else, and that even years later, they won’t change their mind.

Where are your limits? Is cheating, to you, just a kiss? A thought? Foreplay? Or the act itself?

Infidelity can save a couple… just as it can destroy it. But if you believe we are all fallible, that slip-ups happen, and that it’s a real wake-up call to rekindle the seduction in your couple, then so be it. But never let an infidelity go without making sense of it, without talking about it with your partner. Once you get past the first stage, where your ego takes quite a blow, you can try to understand the mechanisms at work that led to this act. If the one who cheated puts all the responsibility on you and makes you feel guilty, run: you’re dealing with a twisted person who doesn’t own their actions and prefers to blame others, the textbook loser. If the discovered infidelity is an opportunity for an honest, heart-to-heart conversation with your partner, then you’ll learn an enormous amount about yourself… and your couple may come out of it much stronger. But the person who was cheated on will truly go through long and difficult stages. The worst part is the images in your head, which come back at any moment. For that, only time can soften those devastating mental images. The early days hurt. But if you manage to get over it, you can tell yourself that love transcends everything… even your own suffering.

But will the person who was cheated on accept another slip-up from their partner? If the partner has enough sense, he’ll see how much he made the one he loves suffer, and that should teach him a lesson… Let’s hope so. To err is human, after all. And isn’t it better for your partner to come back of their own accord, rather than forced and coerced by a magic ritual?

How others see infidelity

Above all, in these cases, avoid talking about it with family and friends… Very often, they take sides, yours, which is completely legitimate. And then you gradually lock yourself into the role of the victim, and no fruitful conversation can come of it. If, on the other hand, the people around you have some perspective, they can help you, but that’s relatively difficult, since you’d have to lay everything out, including your intimate life… Hard to stay neutral in these cases.

Infidelity is often criticized, judged… But a great many people have already experienced it in their relationships. In most cases, they don’t shout it from the rooftops. Very often, out of remorse or not, cheaters talk about it to their best friend, who will never say a word. It’s often a secret too heavy to carry alone. In the end, sworn fidelity is sometimes put to the test. But it’s up to the person who cheats to question themselves to find out whether it was a one-time thing, a single slip-up, a mistake in short, or a compulsive need, in which case it would call a whole side of their personality into question…

If you’ve been cheated on, tell yourself that you’re not alone. That you’re probably going through hell, even more so when you’ve just found out (and even more depending on the circumstances!). But above all, tell yourself that you could also have been the one cheating… None of us is ever safe from it. It remains to be seen whether you’re able to forgive (but not necessarily forget), or whether, for you, the irreparable has been done and this crack in the trust you placed in the other person can’t be repaired.

So how do I get my ex back?

You’ve identified the causes, and now everything seems clear to you. Don’t hesitate to list the causes of your breakup. It always helps you see more clearly. Putting your hurt into words can already be a first step toward working through it, or at least toward feeling better. Try it, you’ll see, it will clear your head.

Now let’s shift up a gear, since the root of the problem has been pinpointed. To solve a problem, you have to go to the source, even if it’s hard to question yourself, because when you’ve been left, you immediately think the other person is 100% to blame and that they alone should take responsibility.

Getting back in touch with your ex: how do you go about it?

Should I wait for my ex to contact me again? The answer: I have no idea, I’m not in your shoes or in your head, and even less in his. But generally, if your ex wanted to break up, don’t get back in touch with him too quickly. Don’t cling to him. Leave him alone for now. He needs to think too. Let him miss you. Picture this: eat too much chocolate and you completely lose its flavor. It turns into a habit. Put yourself on a chocolate diet. You’ll see that the first square of chocolate that passes your lips will taste completely different… All the more so if your chocolate fast lasted a long time…

Waiting for him to get back in touch with you

So let your ex-husband or ex-wife get back in touch with you. If the contact is by phone, maybe don’t pick up on the first ring. If you’re afraid you won’t be able to hold back, don’t answer right away. Don’t play the part of someone who couldn’t care less and is already out partying at a club. It would ring false instantly. If you feel able to control your emotions, pick up. Do some breathing exercises discreetly to manage your emotions if you feel the need.

Often, through indirect means of communication (calls, texts), things can be said. When the person isn’t in front of you, you feel more able to express yourself without feeling their gaze on you. So take the opportunity to say what’s on your heart. Take stock together to see where you stand. If you think it’s necessary, you can suggest a “real” meeting if you sense your ex is open and willing. Maybe not right away, to let the flood of emotions die down a little more. In any case, this contact will let you “test the waters” and find out where your ex stands.

Don’t try to find out about his private life: whether he’s in a new relationship or not, whether he cheated on you, where he is, who he’s seeing, whether he cries every night or, on the contrary, is hitting every nightclub in town. It doesn’t matter. Think of him as exactly that: he’s your ex, period.

Even if your fingers are itching, maybe don’t text him. Not even a sweet or thoughtful little text. The timing may not be right, unless you feel he may be receptive and that the damage isn’t so terrible after all. Adapt to the situation and to the feeling you get. But keep the chocolate technique in mind! Make him want you…

For each person, the timing is completely different. So you might hear from him two hours after the breakup, three days, five weeks… That says nothing about how the reunion will turn out. But generally, sooner or later, there’s a reason, objective or not, to get back in touch with you: picking up his things, ending the lease…

Seeing each other again in person: a decisive moment!

Over time, you’ll probably have the chance to plan to see each other again in person. This moment will be crucial.

If routine killed your relationship, make sure you show up in bombshell mode. He’ll definitely notice your efforts. A nice haircut, flawless makeup, class, understated accessories… In short, make sure you’re dazzling and catch his eye. Don’t put the goods on display: no provocative cleavage, no vulgar behavior, no makeup slapped on with a paint roller. With your natural class, you’ll inevitably attract the gaze of other men. His jealousy might be piqued and so wake up… It’s hard for your ex to see that you could end up with any other man since, after all, you no longer owe him anything… Still, don’t become a tease. Tease him, but without going overboard. It’s all about getting the dose just right!

Show him that the chocolate has a new wrapper and that it can be just as good to unwrap. Slowly…

Avoid getting back together too quickly. Because in the end, you risk completely glossing over the reasons that led to the breakup. You’ll only be sticking the pieces back together with tape. If you feel the need, get help from a couples counselor or other professionals.

After this in-person meeting, if you feel it’s right, wait for him to be the one who comes back to you, too. Having seen you may well get him thinking. The chocolate technique has probably worked…

Then it’s your move, following your feeling, to get your relationship back on track, but don’t forget: don’t rush things.

Conclusions

To the question of how to get your ex back, here are a few answers. I hope that reading this long text has raised some questions for you. That would mean you’re able to make the right choice. If it hasn’t given you a starting point for reflection, don’t panic: give yourself time, but don’t make rash choices.

Above all, the aim of this long article is to make you understand that it’s always richer and more desirable to bring about real reflection, which will have an impact on you, on others, on your karmic lessons, rather than diving headfirst into magic in the hope of bringing back a lost love. Don’t take a shortcut, and don’t think a long tunnel is pointless. Think of all the artists who wrote their finest work or composed their most beautiful song during a breakup, for example. By living through heavy and difficult events, you have material to transform into something positive. Of course, I don’t wish you the worst, but take these events as they come. Welcome your emotions and sublimate them!

N.B.: of course, this text includes examples of couples. Let me reassure all the Jean-Etiennes and Sophies out there: I don’t know them. I didn’t take any examples from my personal life… I could have talked about Melissa or Val. It doesn’t matter. Adapt your couple however you like… Because in the end, love, whether between a man and a man, a woman and a woman, or a man and a woman, who cares… Loving is just so wonderful!

Love life is very often the leading reason women seek a psychic reading. For men, professional life is more often the reason for a consultation. We don’t all have the same outlook on life or the same priorities. But we can get along…

Apparently, a Canadian researcher, Dr. Alain Brunet, has found some very interesting properties in propranolol, a prescription drug, in cases of deep heartbreak. Taken alongside talk sessions with a professional, it might “lessen” the shock of a breakup and soften the emotional and physical hurt… It’s up to you to form your own opinion. But aren’t we heading toward a pill for everything? Aren’t we living in an age where we want everything fast? Why not sign up for a method that would make us forget our ex outright, as if they had never existed? Simple, quick but… it will ask you to dig into your pocket. So either you decide to pay for some ritual or some pill, and you may get through it faster. Or you simply decide to welcome your emotions, however intense they are, to make something of them and come out of it stronger.

So, if you feel like leaving your husband or your wife, I invite you to try your state’s official child support calculator (on a .gov website). You’ll see whether it’s really worth leaving your wife or your husband for someone you barely know. Is it your heart talking, or just your desire for sex? Can a one-night stand threaten the edifice you’ve built with your partner, with so much patience, tears and joy? Is it just a crisis, or is it lost for good?

In any case, a separation can have its upside. Provided you give both partners time and do nothing that could hinder the other’s freedom. A relationship is never smooth sailing. Allow yourself the right to make mistakes and, above all, keep the faith.

If your loved one is a first-class jerk, leaving you is probably the best gift he could have given you. If your loved one is truly the one meant for you, your paths will undoubtedly cross again… The question is when.

If you really don’t feel well, reach out to qualified professionals for support. Time is still your best ally. Don’t get lost in the maze of magic or revenge. The best revenge you can have on the other person is to find someone good and be happy… It’s that simple… Don’t forget: after the rain comes sunshine!